The Man In The Mirror
The necessity of honest reflection
A Broken Mirror
His eyes opened, but they revealed nothing to the young man. He could barely make out the outline of his bedroom door. The sun had not yet even begun to warm the edges of the cool night sky. There were still hours before he needed to leave the house. It did not matter. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. He was far too excited. Today Aaron had an interview to attend, one he had been waiting on for months.
Aaron walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light. He picked up his toothbrush, but stopped when he lifted his eyes to the mirror. There was something on his face. In the mirror he could see what looked like mud smeared on his forehead. “That’s impossible,” he mumbled to himself, “I haven’t been outside for three or four days. I could not possibly have gotten mud on my face without noticing it.” It was true that the weather had prevented the Aaron from going outside, and that he had no recollection of anything that could explain the mud on his face. He looked once more at the mirror and declared, “I know I washed my face yesterday, and I always keep my bed clean. The mirror must be wrong.”
Aaron still had lots of time before he needed to leave. He took his time making a pot of coffee and cooking breakfast. He scrolled on facebook. He folded some laundry. Eventually, when he knew that others were awake, he made a video call to his friend and asked for an opinion on which outfit to wear to the interview. Before they hung up he said, “Hey, by the way, how does my face look? Do I need to fix anything?” His friend replied, “You look wonderful, as always, friend.”
“I knew it.” Aaron said proudly. “My logical thinking told me that there was nothing on my face, and now my friend has confirmed it.” He finished getting ready and packing his bag for the day. As the time approached for Aaron to leave his house he had a thought, “Maybe I should wash my face, just in case.” However, his pride would not allow him to do something so unnecessary, even though it would only have taken a few minutes. So he put it out of his mind and walked out of the door.
About an hour later, he walked confidently into a fancy office. The man behind the desk was dressed in a suit and tie. He offered Aaron a seat, and then did a double take. With a concerned look on his face he said, “Young man, if you would like to go to the bathroom and wash the mud off of your face, I will wait for you.” Aaron just smiled at him and said, “No thanks, there is no mud on my face.”
Nobody is easier to fool than yourself
Humans have the incredible talent of rationalizing and reasoning our way out of what should be simple truths. We will gain ten pounds and then tell ourselves, “These pants are a little tight around the waist… they must have shrunk in the wash.” It sounds ridiculous, and it is, but we often fool ourselves into a state of complacency because we refuse to think critically when we know that it will lead to uncomfortable conclusions. The fact about people is that we like being comfortable, and if we are not careful, we will allow our desire for comfort to prohibit us from suffering through the pains of growth.
Just like the young man in the story above (I am no author of short stories, I appreciate you sticking with me through that) we would rather show up with mud on our faces than to admit that we are wrong and have to exert uncomfortable or inconvenient effort in order to better ourselves.
People are lazy by nature. This is why it is imperative that we learn to think critically and to reflect honestly, the mission of The Quiet Corner. If we do not learn to honestly identify personal flaws and to intentionally correct them, we can never grow as individuals. This is especially important for Christians because Jesus serves as our perfect model and the Bible as our standard of character and morality. Thus we look introspectively at our own lives through the lens of godliness and can more easily determine which aspect of our own lives need to change in order to align more wholly with the nature of God.
The inspired author, James, emphasized the necessity of uncomfortable action.
James 1:22-25
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016),
Do something uncomfortable
How then does one become a “doer that acts” instead of a “hearer who forgets.” First, one must reconcile his or herself with the reality that growth is uncomfortable. If becoming a better version of one’s self was all together enjoyable, we would live in a world full of realized potential. However, not many people understand or are willing to endure the process of honest self reflection.
Next, start digging. Do not be satisfied by gently sifting through the daily habits that you already approve of. Start vigorously digging into the motives, settings, conducts, and consequences of specific actions.
Example A: The morning routine.
The alarm clock
Why am I setting my alarm 30 minutes early with the INTENTION of snoozing it 13 times?
What if I set my phone somewhere that I cannot reach it. Each morning I will be forced to stand up and turn it off, creating the habit of actually getting out of bed when the alarm goes off.
Scrolling on facebook for 10 minutes before making breakfast.
I can use this time to pray a specific prayer list and include things like:
Safety on my commute
Patience with my boss
Being an example for my co-workers
Wisdom for upcoming decisions (be specific)
Maybe replace this time with part of your daily Bible reading
This is the most basic of examples, and yet it only covers the first ten minutes of your day. Now, apply this format to any situation and you will be able to logically evaluate your decisions and grow each and every day. Personal reflection goes far beyond just rewriting your morning routine. It dives into more uncomfortable realms, like the way you handled the last argument you had with your spouse.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself about that fight:
What was the goal?
If we are honest, most of our fights happen because we put ourselves before our spouse and God.
I wanted to be right, I was offended, I felt unheard, or something did not happen the way that I wanted it to.
The goal of a disagreement has to be mutual understanding - not winning, or even agreeing, but understanding one another.
Did that conversation have an achievable resolution, or were we arguing in circles?
Did I come into the conversation looking for a solution or a fight?
How can we glorify God together through our disagreements?
the answer here will be different for every couple, but it ALWAYS includes respecting one another and treating your relationship with the reverence that the holy bond deserves.
I do not want to write a whole book here about how to deal with a million different circumstances. Hopefully you will take these principles and apply them to aspects of your life that need to be refocused. In all likelihood, you do not have a chronic or debilitating sin that is screaming for your attention. More likely is what happens to most people: We get comfortable. We stop moving forward. Eventually we become completely complacent and no longer see the value in the pain of personal reflection and growth.
Just use your head
As we walk together through various topics, I hope to write to you in a way that is personal and encouraging. Most of all, I hope to help you to think critically and to develop healthy, albeit uncomfortable, habits of self reflection. I always appreciate your time and your support.
The challenge for this week is to honestly analyze one aspect of your life, write it down, and then make an intentional improvement. Never become too comfortable and please, just use your head.